Friday, June 1, 2012

No Place Like Home.

How are we expected to know when our registration expires? MMM asked, exasperated, as we were going over some of his bills last night. He had neglected to pick up the mail (bestillmybeatingheart) from his condo for months and had been slapped with quite the fine.
Um, well, the sticker on the back for one. I responded, with a laugh.
Hmph. I guess I'm just forgetful, or unaware, about these things sometimes.
I closed my eyes.
I've noticed. What color are my eyes?
Brown. But to be honest, when I first met you, I didn't kmow, or remember. It wasn't until we hung out again, and I noticed how pretty your eyes are that I was able to remember that they are brown.
I laughed again.
Can you really dye my eyes to match my gown?

MMM is moving today. 
Out of the house he shared with his 'wife' (though, to be honest I know very little about the relationship other than it was very short, and they were only married for three months, so I am working with the assumption that it was annulled, which would not even make her his ex-wife? Right? Right?!) When I first met him, and was struck with the notion that he 'needed a girlfriend', it wasn't out of pity, nor was it out of any sort of judgment of helplessness. It simply was just what popped into my head when I looked around at his house, undecorated and sad. The house was a shell.
The condo he is moving into is His and not Theirs, and he has made it clear that he just wants to get out of that house and move on. And his need for a 'woman in his life' has been even moreso clear in the past few days. He has thanked me for convincing him to invest in a U-Haul, as opposed to his original plan of using a truck from his business that wouldn't even be available until after five. (Though, admittedly, my pushing for the UHaul was less about his convenience and more about my own concern over him taking too long to move & not being able to spend time with him.) We ran through a checklist this morning of all the things he needs to do (cancel this, pack that) and then he brought up the 'chandelier' he wants to change in his condo.
It's gold. Well, not real gold, I don't think, but it's gold and on a chain, and I want to change it but don't know how.
I'm pretty sure it's not real gold. I mean, this ain't Dubai. I said, laughing. But if you want help finding a new one, I like doing stuff like that. I'll go with you.
Well, yeah, he said. I was gonna ask you about that...  
In the two weeks, now almost three, that we have been hanging out, it has become incredibly clear that even though he is mysterious and mustache'd, he is also amazing company. We have spent the last three (three!) nights together. The first night we went to dinner and then the last two I have just gone to his house straight from work, late, and we have sat at his kitchen table, just talking & sharing a bottle of wine. His last three days in that Godforsaken house, have been Us.
And now, he's moving back into his own condo, and he's asking me about whether or not to bring his BBQ, or what to do with a 'triangle bookshelf'* he bought years ago.
*It's shelving you mount on the wall. 
The brackets are triangular. 
It took me awhile, and some coaxing, 
to figure out what this 'triangle bookshelf' was.
You're due a short rundown, as I know with work and everything I haven't caught anyone up on the MMM timeline.
It is as follows:
We had our second date, and then our 'third' date was not a date, as it was simply me just coming over after the following evening and staying the night. Our 'third and a half' date was on a Wednesday - where we ventured to a small concert in Orange County. I had never heard the artist's music, though I had heard of him. The concert was wonderful, I was tranfixed by the singer, Devendra Banhart, and had an amazing time with MMM. After it was over, I went home, as I had a long day the following day. So, still PG, ifyaknowwhatImean. . Our 'fourth' date was to a gourmet small plates restaurant in Corona Del Mar on Friday. I bought new underwear for that date. The following day, we slept in and lounged around his house, watching New Girl episodes (he had never seen it, and loved it) and drinking coffee. We went to lunch at some point, and then lounged some more. And I have spent Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and potentially tonight with him of this week.
He has a Grown Up name to
go with his Grown Up Mustache.
But who is this Mysterious Mustache'd Man? He is thirty, quick witted and kind. He finds me interesting. Even when I'm explaining retail math, or the commission scale at work, or the intricacies of female dominated workplace dynamics. I'll stop myself short, and mention how boring my topic of choice may be, and he stops me, and confirms that he is in fact interested. And I believe him. 
I find him interesting. 
And still, a little mysterious. 
He is sweet and dorky and shy, but in a way where I can tell he is still well-liked and well-regarded. He works for his father, alongside his best friend, and they have plans to, when his father retires, take over the (very successful) business together. He is driven and wry. He is terrible(!) with expressing his feelings. But after our fourth date, I did tell him that if we were going to continue to see one another in this way I would need him to be more verbally expressive with me. 
His response? 
I don't know how to, but I will try.
The next morning, as we lay together, and after a bit of silence, he turned to me and said, rather awkwardly,
...I very much enjoy spending time with you... And... I like being close to you like this... 
So he is trying.

Upon further reflection, I feel inclined to note that nearly every compliment that he has ever given me has been about my intellect or the way my mind works. In our conversations, or debates, which have ranged from what year the film Titantic came out to the universe's creation being a fluke or in fact, a creation, even when he is playing the Devil's Advocate, he speaks with nothing but respect for my opinion or beliefs. He has never pulled the all-too-common, 'No no, let me tell you how It Is' that most men I have known do and he will concede when he has run out of explanations. He oft remarks that I have 'given him something to think about'. It's a different feeling, to feel valued by someone for  my brains over my body. I have felt like mute arm candy so many times, or even that feeling of (like with the Mathematician, of him being attracted to me so being able to overlook certain aspects of my personality or whatnot.) To feel like, with MMM, he is most attracted to my mind, and the physical is secondary (and I feel the same of him) is a new, and extremely appealing base for a potential relationship. So he may not be out there, yelling from the rooftops how much he likes me or how hot he thinks I am, but I do not spend my time with him second guessing myself, or his feelings for me. So there is something to be said about that. He knows I'm not perfect, but he doesn't treat it in a way that feels like he is making an exception, like F does, a 'I like you so much, I'll overlook your Crazy'. He seems to just accept it. To go with it. He also likes cats.
But even with his lack of verbal expression, he is not flawed when it comes to showing he cares.
We drink it together, on his patio.
His actions speak volumes.

Most mornings, he gets up before I do. He lets me sleep while he makes us coffee and only wakes me once it's done with a kiss, a good morning and a hot mug.

He is moving today, and we have spent the better part of a week together. He deleted his OkCupid account after our third date, and I disabled mine two days ago. I'm not looking to jump into boyfriendom just yet, but I am most certainly excited by the potential of MMM. I think his move will be good for us, and him especially. I find it to be somewhat symbolic - Him leaving that house at what could be the start of something new. I am excited to be his Ikea Buddy, and I adore waking up next to him. I believe that we started things off on the right foot, that neither of us are playing games, we are honest, alike and and we waited for a spell to be 'close like that'.
He often admits when I am right.
I am right often.

I met him and thought, 'This dude needs a girlfriend.'
I know him and feel, 'This man is better off with a woman in his life'.
And I suspect I will walk into his new/old condo and think, 'This place begs for a woman's touch'.

And, Home sight unseen on my end, he has already begun to ask for it.
And, I'd begun to plan for it.
Happy Housewarming!

This is the sort of thing I was aiming for with my paper planes.
The chemistry, the quality & the kindness.
This is the sort of wind I was asking for.
Demanding.

Also!
He wants my help in doing a shadow box succulent wall on his patio.
Um, yeah, hi, please!


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