High Fog Advisories on Route 29.

Mid-February finally feels like mid-February. Cold, overcast, long and drawn out. I am still unemployed, still uninspired, and getting pretty, well, pretty frustrated. My brain literally feels...  

Overcast.

Cloudy.

The days and weeks have begun to run into one another, each one only mildly distinguishable from the next... Each just another white dash on the highway. I find that I am again simply just going through the motions - I feel like I'm on cruise control. 

Though my fog is sometimes punctuated by glimmers of lights, like oncoming headlights on a highway - They pass me quickly, filling my view with a wave of light and then I'm back in the fog; I feel like I'm driving the longest road trip of the Winter. 

Beauty put it perfectly a couple weeks ago, 

Okay, so what do we have to look forward to in-between now & your birthday?

Because, job or no job, fog or no fog, this stretch of winter always seems the longest, don't you think? I'm a Summer Girl in a Summer Town; a town that feels deserted and cold, even on its sunniest days, in the mid-February to mid-March march. You know what I'm talking about - that lull post-Holiday & pre-Spring. My birthday, for me at least, is this glimmering city in the distance - A far off cityscape that is my welcoming of the warmth and vibrancy that comes along with Spring in Southern California.

Just like I hoped.

Don't me wrong! I've had some huge bright highlights in the past couple weeks - The highest end shop in my tiny little town heard that my shop closed & the owner called one of my clients to get my contact information. The owner then called me not but five minutes later, and we spoke for over an hour about the possibility of her opening another location, and as she put it: Having me on board would light a fire under her ass to do it quicker. She doesn't know me, just Of Me - She sought me out, on reputation alone. I'm not going to lie: it was one of the most validating things that has happened in a long time.
Another highlight? Well, I ran into My Secret Ex Boyfriend over the weekend, and when we finally made eye contact, and our way over the one another, it was perfect - The kind of perfect reunion that you imagine when you end a relationship without closure. The kind that reminds you that you didn't just make up that chemsitry in your head, that that spark was Real...
First, eye contact, then a smile, which launches into a lingering hug.
The first thing out of my mouth was,

How is your mom?!? 

He smiled, his gorgeous Tom Cruise smile, and said,

I love that the first thing out of your mouth was 'How is your mom'? She's great, cancer free (!), and has a boyfriend who is perfect for her. How is your cat?

He even got along with Apartment F (yes, we are still together, there was some confusion I guess...) and they talked about surfing and secret surf spots, and at the end of the night, Apartment F concluded that, andIquote 'I have pretty good taste in guys.' (I, of course, am still  crazy for the Secret Ex Boyfriend, but we all know that will never happen.)
And, youknow, I had a second interview today, a wine bar/shopgirl reunion last week and had a great night out with the girls this weekend...
So its not all a fog; but it still sort of is.
Not working has done a number on my inspiration; and a number on my call-back skills. I've become sort of a hermit; without the rock'n'mortar shop to be in, to keep me inspired, to give my favorite clients a place to come and find me, I feel like I'm losing touch a little bit - I've lost my homebase. 
I'm stuck in my head, I'm stuck in my town, and this hunt for a job is like being on the highway, in the fog, searching for the 'first Right after the green silo' or something else equally as vague.

Sunny day... sweepin' the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet...
Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

I just feel like I'm just aimlessly driving through the foggy days of February, 

high beams few & far between,

waiting for that damn sun to come out and that damn green silo to direct me where to turn.

Or something else as equally as vague.