Sometimes Even Baby Has To Sit In The Corner.

What kind of Fish am I, you ask?
Well, sometimes I am a Selfish, that's for sure.

It's one of my biggest downfalls, I admit. Sometimes I am prone to the most self absorbed acts, I cannot deny it. And later, when I take stock of my behavior, I am appalled by how little I considered everyone else's feelings. Whether it be keeping Apartment F around for my own personal comfort while not allowing any talk of between us of what's going on, or being cranky & unenthusiastic, or simply putting myself first when I should, in fact, be caring about how my actions will make other people - people who are good friends to me, who love me - feel.
I can be very selfish.
I need to stop.

'Sit here & think about what you've done.'

Because in the past (and the present, too) my selfishness has lead to hurt feelings.
Lead to friendships ruined.
And, I can't say I blame them. Even worse is when my selfishness turns to cowardice - When I owe someone an apology and I then get too afraid to buck up and just simply fucking apologize. I'm still like a bratty kid sometimes, stomping her feet and wanting her way, arms crossed and being little miss bossy pants. I get so wrapped up in my own shit that I forget that it's not always about me. Or my life. Or my whatever.
The catty thirteen year old comes out, in awful combination with the selfish five year old in me, and when all is said and done, I realize that: Sometimes, even at 30, I deserve a Time Out. 
This is one of those times.
I fucked up.