'Satisfactory' Is Just Excellent For Now.

Most Days.

It's funny, living in Southern California - The cold air doesn't hit until near the end of January, and February is usually the month of 'forgotten cold'. And as February nears, I'm still, though I hate to admit it, seeing Apt F - both in private & as of this past weekend, in public again too. I guess you could say that the cold air of Winter begs for the warmth & comfort of body heat. Aw, who am I kidding, it's like 70 degrees out. I am still refusing to talk about 'What We Are' with him - though I may be I am sidestepping that conversation - I cannot deny the fact that we are still, again, Something.

And out of no where,
I got some Satisfaction.

Something with more boundaries yes, and no, we are nothing 'official', but we are Something.

Something more than neighbors. 

Something more than friends. 

Something more than just someone to keep one another warm.
Something that I find surprisingly Satisfying.

And though I get defensive when Goldi asks, morning after morning, whether or not he was here with me in my Tiny Room with a Kitchen Attached, the answer is usually, 'Yes.' 

In the several weeks since I 'ended' things, and after an extremely honest & candid conversation about exactly why (certain decisions he was making, little or no personal space, lack of courtship, timing yaddayaddayadda) my neighbor hasn't had a single asshole episode, he has kept his distance and given me my much needed personal space, and we are of no certain title, no 'Boyfriend' or 'Girlfriend' - and I am content with this set up, for now. He is more than someone to keep me warm, he is kind and he, as he put it in our first real conversation after the initial break up, through his tears,

...Loves me too the fuck much just to let me out of his life.

And who am I to argue with that?
So, though I am unemployed, some days bored to tears while sending off resumes to thispersonthatpersonandtheother, I look forward to five o'clock most days, when his light blue Forerunner pulls into the parking lot, he pops his head in my window to say hello & then takes off for his evening jog. I am content that most nights, but not all, he comes down and we watch our shows, after feeding ourselves, and fall asleep together. And those - some but not all - mornings where wake up together.

So yet again, Apartment F has become my Not Boyfriend Boyfriend. 

This time though, I find him less puffy, less moochy and a hell of a lot more of a Gentleman. I would actually say, that our break up had made room for a much healthier relationship between the two of us. (Though, I will admit, I do suspect that he never told anyone that we had 'broken up'.)

And when I showed him the mock up for my Birthday invite, when he got to the part where it read,

No Boys Allowed.

He was genuinely sad, but I think he understood. Anyhow, hell, that's months from now.
(Though, regardless as to where I am, or where We are, there'll still be no boys allowed.)