2 for 2 for 2 : Bewilderment & B----

"They have my favorite wine here!

Yes, I know. That's why I picked the restaurant. That, and the view.

"I'll have a glass of...

No, we'll take a bottle.

So started, perhaps, the most, well, bewildering date ever.

That bottle he picked, it’s a nice one.

I was asked to stay away from the $130 abalone plate, very politely.

And though I do love abalone, I went with the Ahi Tuna.

As odd as this date was, it ended with creme brulee, a glass of desert wine and a whole lot of kissing.



un-nickname-able?!
unbelievable.

Sidenote: I have no clever nickname for him. I've tried a couple out, but nothing has stuck. He even is just a regular name in my phone - between "Poor Dude" (not returning his calls - I mean texts, as he has no line to line service on his phone, only texts messaging) and "Sean in Plaid" (nickname: obvious - he was wearing plaid) there is simply 'B----". I've never not been able to nickname someone: Text Message Boyfriend, Bartender, Superman, My Aussie (who I have begun to miss terribly! Damn you, setting the bar so high!), American Psycho (that should've been a red flag), Maroon 5 - the list goes on & on. I nickname everyone! And these nicknames, they stick! I mentioned the "inappropriately aged" guy I dated to a client - & close friend - today and her response was, "Oh yes! Maroon 5!"
But I digress…

So Date #2 with 'B----', we'll call him:

Just like Date #1, I left not sure of anything really. I left electrified, and mystified. He is impossible to read. I originally attributed this to us being unable to read one another, but oh no... I now realize, and he confirms, that he's is simply impossible to read. He makes no recognizable facial expressions; he is either smiling or he’s not. This is not to say he doesn’t have emotions, he just isn’t expressive. You can tell that behind his blue eyes, there is a lot going on in his brain. It’s mysterious, but I suspect it could get quite frustrating in time. He likes me. He likes that I am affectionate. He doesn't know what to do with it, but he likes it. B---- is pensive, quiet and thoughtful; quite the opposite of me. I’m transparent; you can see what I’m thinking if you just look at my face.

He starts to open up after about an hour…

It was just his birthday & I asked what he wanted to accomplish in the next year. He responded to the effect of, "Live everyday to the fullest."

(He speaks in short, concise sentences.)

Today, he continued, his doctor told him that they suspect that he either has diabetes or cancer.

YES. That happened. Boom.

Side by side in a booth at the beautiful restaurant of his choosing, he dropped that on me. His eyes welled up. This now makes me 2 for 2 - 2nd dates & my date fighting back tears (and 2 for 2 on having a glass of desert wine at the date's end). He who I cannot read, he who shows little emotion, he who I cannot seem to break, broke a little.

I can tell you think I am holding back - and honestly, I went to the doctor today and they think... They're gonna run some more tests...

I cannot wrap my head around this. I didn’t know what to say. So, being Miss Articulate, I respond,

What a shit day.

He leans back, I kiss him. Hands intertwined, he responds without irony:

What a perfect way to spend a Friday. Look at this view.

I laugh, and in poor taste, but good humor say,

Good Lord, if that is just a line to get me into bed then I feel like I'm in an Owen Wilson movie.

Cringe. I look at him. He smiles.
He is handsome. He is afraid.
I am the only person he’s told this news.

Ummm... Why do my second dates always end up so intense?

Today reminded me that you have to live everyday as it could be your last.

“Yes, B----, but that's our reality every time we get into a car, or walk on a side walk. You never know what’s going to happen.

I wore this.
But with pants.

2nd date with B----: Lovely & romantic. Odd & sad. I'm as confused as you are.
I received one compliment tonight, out loud,
I like your whole look - I like your whole thing.

 (It was not 'til I started dating again that I realized men [or at least men attracted to me] appreciate style.)
I received many compliments without words.

I don't know about the future with him, but I am trying to learn to appreciate silence, the actions-speaking-louder-than-words side of dating... And definitely, to take each day for what it is - we are not promised a tomorrow.

I do think there will be a third date. But then again...