Pity Party Cat Pants Day (aka Tuesday).

So there I was...

...In line at the drugstore, buying two cans of cat food & a bag of cat litter, wearing gray elastic waistband sweatpants and without a stitch of makeup on at 2:30 on a Tuesday.

A little less Meow
and a little more Roar.

And It hit me: Oh my God, I am standing in line at the drugstore, buying two cans of cat food & a bag of cat litter, wearing gray elastic waistband sweatpants and without a stitch of makeup on at 2:30 on a Tuesday.

Holy Hell, What Have I Become?!?

In my defense, it's been a relatively craptastic couple of days. 

But, seriously? 

Crazy Cat Lady by 30? 

I feel like Bridget Jones' worst nightmare. 

Without the boobs.

This Pity Party Cat Pants Day is partially due to the fact that I had my third date with the Mathematician last Friday. We went for margaritas & then to a mediocre art installation in DTLA. The date itself had been prefaced with a text from him correcting my spelling (they're not there) and culminated with him needing to jump my car in the morning.
Damn headlights. Not my finest moments, I admit.

And, what had happened in the in-between, well let's just say that I realized three very interesting things about him:

My inner Jagger kind of took a blow.

1. Oh that's right!? You're a musician!
It's the YouYouYouTheFrontman Show 24/7. 

And, I do not have a weak spot for egomaniacs.
I'm the Mick Jagger, remember?!

2. He does not think I'm very Smart. Clever, maybe. Dumb, no. But certainly not smart. I think he is content to have arm candy; but alas, I've been in that relationship before & I am not getting into it again.

3. His voice goes up when he's feigning interest in what others (me) are saying. Our third date & I already can pick up on the subtle nuances of his boredom? Grrrreat.

He also went on the explain that the night had started off on the wrong foot because his fellow band members had called him out on talking only about himself and telling the same stories ad nauseum and that he'd kind of felt like an asshole as a result. Wellyadon'tsay? 
There was a moment in the night when I realized that I didn't feel good about myself being around him, and that I may be the nurturer in relationships, but that I also expect the same in return.
I did admit to him that I feel like an Asshole most of the time too, and we did bond over that; but the reality was, I think we both knew that whatever our connection was, it had dissipated.
Both of us had found things in one another that we did not like.
He noted that I am very sensitive & can't often take what I dish out. He noted my (admitted) shyness around new people, and that I was in fact a bit too short to kiss when I was wearing flats. 

We said good bye in the morning, after he had to jump my car's battery, and we did not make plans.

Oh the Third Date, the Make It Or Break It Date. 

Pro: Pretty.
Con: Dumb.
Pretty dumb.

So being the Total Creep that I am, I went on to my secret profile on OkCupid (the one that can't be traced back to me or any of my friends) this morning because curiosity took over when I saw that he had made some edits on the site's newsfeed. 

Oh my, aaaand had he. 

I never said I was a 'Bad Ass'.
I said 'Sometimes I feel like an Ass.'

His profile now reads like a Pros & Cons List to 3 Dates with Me. 

He rewrote the entire thing, adding in tidbits and references to the great conversations we'd had over the course of our three dates about God & growing up & doing funny voices and he also added some reals gems such as:

I'm quite talkative and I have found that I get along well with other talkative people. Sorry quiet girls*, we are probably not a good match.

I also have a tendency to be very sarcastic, in a nice way, but I have been told that when I am sarcastic I speak in the same voice that I use when I am being serious, and I guess this annoys some. One way or another, no one has ever accused me of lacking personality.

Some OK Cupiders have also commented that I am better looking in person than in my profile pics. If I'm going to brag I suppose this is the place.

And for the Finale, the answer to the 'You Should Message Me If...'

You have a thick skin and you take things with a grain of salt.
Thin is good too, and tall is better.

We haven't spoken since Saturday Morning.

So I'm thinking there will be no Fourth Date? 

Thankfully.

Admittedly, my feelings are hurt & my ego is a tad bruised.
Which, I know is silly, because I didn't want to see him again.
And he's an asshole. But, it's definitely a blow to the ego. Ouch.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm also thinking, I may need to add a little more to my profile to somehow specify that I am, in fact, quite sensitive. And 'Girly', I guess.
I like 'girly things' like redecorating and blogs and clothes and brunches and girlfriends.
(But notsomuch Pinterest, actually.)
And I don't care about your band.

And that interpersonal intelligence is my strength, as opposed to knowing why eequalsemceesquared or whatever. 

Whatever.

And that tall is good, but there is such a thing as too tall. 

To some.

But firstthingsfirst, let me end this damn 
Pity Party 

& take off these fugly ass sweatpants.

Sidenotes: The egoblow was certainly softened by a conversation last night with Apartment F. We had a really honest conversation last week about why we won't work out, and yesterday he did tell me that (in the kindest way possible) that he thinks that I am, quote, 'Stupid. But only because he loves me so much and I am not in love with him.' Which, on days like this, does make me wonder if I am stupid. Because he does love me so much. But, I know in the long run, that isn't going to make me happy but I also know that in the long run, I want him in my life in some capacity. Even if it's just as the 'Ex Girlfriend who he is still friends with & makes his new girlfriend a little jealous'. Not that he has a new girlfriend. Oh! And also, he told me that his mom thinks that I've been a 'good influence in his life' which is a pretty damn huge compliment. And then we made pizza & watched Mad Men.
Also!!! I haven't sent out thank you cards for my birthday yet. 

Such a faux pas, I know. I'm so disappointed with myself.

But... I will. Soon.