Growing Up in NeverNeverLand.

I think one remains the same person throughout, merely passing, as it were, i these lapses of time from one room to another, but all in the same house.                 

                                                                 - J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

NeverNever
(sitonaswinginsuchashortskirt)
Land

So, I went to my long forgotten Myspace(!) page today - to grab some old pictures. Under the “Blog” section I found this little description of myself… I wrote it in August of 2005. *I had no idea I was a 'blogger' back then! I was right around 22 & I had yet to meet the Ex, was still in college and quite a lost little girl. This time in my life was the only other time I was single.
(I recommend reading the left column first, then the sidenotes.)

Reading this, I was a shocked at:

1.) How little I have changed & 2.) How much I have changed. 

I was a Girl when I wrote this - a little wild, a little reckless. And although I have struggled to tame that girl in the past year, I feel that, at the same time, I am simply a more polished, more centered version of this same girl; these days I actually feel like a woman. (I refer to men as "men" forGodsakes.) I am beginning to believe that my Peter Pan Syndrome is really starting to diminish. That's not to say I don't have a whole helluva lot more growing up to do, but at the very least the wild girl described above only comes out every once and awhile. And although I oft refer to my tiny little town as NeverNeverLand, its starting to feel less and less so. *I mean when you take a look at your life, and realize things like,"I am facebook friends with not only the bartenders at the local dive, but the bouncer as well," you may need to re-evaluate your life a little. Or, you might be an alcoholic. I kid, Mom, I kid.  But I'll be honest, I feel such a sense of pride when they ask me - via facebook of course - where I've been. (It's the little things in life.) I feel such a sense of pride when anyone asks me that these days! My response was, More Restaurant Checks & Fewer Bar Tabs. Yes, I was proud of that come back. So I guess, what I'm trying to say is that over the course of my twenties, I'm still at my core, the same girl - in my make up & constitution but that girl has gone from a Lost Boy Girl to a Peter Pan and then - slowly but surely - to a Wendy. 

You need not be sorry for (Wendy). She was one of the kind that likes to grow up. In the end she grew up of her own free will a day quicker than the other girls.                                                                                                 - J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

I'm getting there. Or trying my hardest to.
I'm trying to be a grown up NeverNeverLand.