Truth? Errrr Dare. (or Why Mick Jagger May Not Be My Savior After All.)

I believe in the power of the patio. My life is essentially lived on sunkissed patios - or at the very least patios with heat lamps and a veiw of the patio next door. I am a veritable walking Patio Party. Which is certainly better than a Pity Party; although, I've have quite a few Patio Pity Parties. Thankfully, the two are not mutually exclusive. I have the luxury (now) of having many friends who know me very well to sit on said patios with. So, like many of my stories...
I was sitting on a patio with one of my nearest and dearest - a newly-single Bijou. She flung herself into her seat in a navy blue printed dress, her wheat-blonde waist length hair going everywhere and motioned for an ashtray.

So, I read your blog, she said, crisply.  I have to tell you, I don't agree with you. You do always get what you want. And its not that you go for what you can't have; its that you like the challenge. Even with the Dutchman - he came back for you. You got what you wanted. You may have hoped that it would work out in the long run, wished for it - but he still came back for you.

Shit.
She's right. I get a thrill out of making the commitmentphobes, the wanderlusts and the otherwise seemingly unattainable mine. Most of my relationships have begun as almost a Dare.
As in, Oh? I can't have you? Dare me.
I am a walking-talking anti-Bonnie Raitt song - I Can't Make You Love Me, anyone?
Because in my subconcious, I think - Oh yes I can. Just watch.

I believe Bianca may have had the same affliction.

Now, I don't believe that my thrill-seeking daredevilish ways take away from the quality of my relationships; nor do mean to belittle the love I have felt (and feel) for my Dutchman, my Ex or anyone else otherwise - I'm simply admitting that Bijou is right - I more often than not do get what I want; and it isn't that I want what I cannot have - it's that I like the thrill of the challenge. Sometimes it leads to two year relationships, sometimes five. It once led to a wonderful man from far far away hopping on a plane and being perfect for three weeks with me. Sometimes, it has led to heartbreak - to me looking someone square in the eye, saying, fuck you and walking away.
So... In short, sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I fail. So is Life, I guess.
So is life.

Sidenote: This also explains my tendency to go for whomever I think is the best looking in the room - or on the patio, forthatmatter.